you were right about the time of Evan, Kingsley, and Cyndil being over. Kingsley isn't the same King he was when we were a family. you're not the same, I'm not the same.
it's sad to think that all of that is gone. for everything else we fucked up, we were a great family.
it's painful that we lost it. but it makes me feel better.
I don't know what I miss. I love the feeling I get thinking of reconnecting with the people we knew in high school, and making Shreveport our own. but I don't feel like I'm entitled to do that. Shreveport isn't mine. and anything I ever did would be only an extension of you, because it's your town.
and of course there's the fact that I don't get along with the... geography.
are you happy where you're standing still?
do you really want the sugar pill?
not seeing you again just churns me up inside. not being able to have any of these imagined conversations with you. I wish we could be the friends I thought we were, or should have been.
it's probably not cool that I'm still doing this. but I know what I miss. as alone and lonely and in my head as I am, I know this has nothing to do with wanting you back, and everything to do with having no other choice.
I'm gonna keep all of this here, and hope that's enough.
